I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
