You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Operation Purity has been aborted
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
