I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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