her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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