He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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