The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
