i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
