It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Nicole vs. Life
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
