Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
