I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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