she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
