There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
