come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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