Slut skills are useful in every country.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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