it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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