I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize