she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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