WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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