Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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