My brain says no but my pants say off.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
