Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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