I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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