Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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