Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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