I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
