if you like me you must not know who I am
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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