Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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