Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
