I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
