First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize