Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
