She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
