I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
