TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's shark week go big or go home
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
