The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
