he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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