So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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