I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
