I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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