I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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