She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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