It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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