I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I booty called her while she was in labor.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize