dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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