Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
