I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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