are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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