This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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