Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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