Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is wine microwaveable?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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