Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
