Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we have pet lesbian snakes
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
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