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i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have aggressive nipples.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
