The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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