i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
